When little not so easy to raise, we are in high demand and sometimes, we run out. But deep down we know that things are more or less under control. We bring with us everywhere we go, but as they grow they also claim or impose their preferences.
But then grow too, and suddenly one day we realize that we no longer have absolute control of the situation. The boys begin to choose where to go and who to be. They go to a much wider world than they did under the gaze of their parents.
Adolescence is a stage in which young people should be independent and therefore detached from their parents. Who am I, what will be my life plan, where do I go?, Are the new issues surrounding their heads at that stage of life. That which is commonly called rebellion is nothing more and nothing less than a search of his personality. Its outputs are no longer limited to the circle of relatives or friends of the family. And often end up surrounding himself with girls and boys that parents do not convince us at all. "Is that why I struggled so much raising him?" Adults complain often.
And there the fighting starts, pulls and chaos characteristic of families with adolescents. What can we do when we do not like the friends of our children?
"We must distinguish two situations well," says clinical psychologist Gloria Birencwajg. "Because when parents lose control unit and displayed children's fears. A scenario is simply not we like these people, "says Birencwajg. "And another very different is when we realize that with this company our children are at a real risk." He adds that if the environment is really dangerous, parents should intervene with effective limit setting, and if you still feel that they will hand the problem it is best to seek professional help.
Many other times are the guys who end up giving a lesson to their parents, for example, with themes that adults have lived in a conflict or as a taboo and is young people who bring them back into the family so they can be processed.
The psychologist noted that a typical case of adolescent foster children, often meet with people from very different social level of its family. In the search appears the issue of adoption.
Announcements and accompanied
"It is essential to have a level of communication between parents and children. Although it is not easy, because at this stage the guys want to get rid of their parents, "says Birencwajg.
According to the psychologist, is very important to the way family life is organized, for example, meet once a day to share a meal or fixed how will the weekend. Kids do not have to be away completely for those two days. "It is essential to accompany them, do not watch them. Because if they feel that control will surely put away immediately. " Meet
friends can be a good channel to learn about potential dangers. "In cases of girls with anorexia or bulimia, which often warn adults about the problem are those friends," says the psychologist.
One way to approach, for example, is that the kids can meet at home with them. Thus, parents can know their close circle of friends. Yes, it is important not to intrude, but respect their space. Give
Trust is also another key point, because they themselves must learn to care. When we want to impose control and closed standards do not listen is when they start the lies, cover-ups.
"So parents know is fostering a climate of communication," explains Gloria Birencwajg. "Sometimes, a resource that is very good news is that they tell their stories to the kids or instead identify, differentiate." Tips
note:
-Foster communication. Having
-day moments to chat with them.
-Listen to your needs.
-give them confidence.
-accompanied without feeling watched.
-know circle of friends with whom they meet.
-Telling how their parents were their age.
"If the kids are in a situation of risk, set precise limits or ask for help from a professional.
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